George, the Dreadful month is here…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


George, I have created a slideshow of some of my favorite photos of you in your youth as well as some of you as you aged. Looking at you helps soothe my sadness during this dreadful month when you left us forty-four long, lonely years ago. Each year during the month of April I paint my fingernails black all month. On my right ring finger I paint a white, broken heart and on the left ring finger I paint two sad tears.

I understand your reasons for taking your own life. All your life you had been very healthy and athletic. This made accepting your declining health even more difficult. Although you were only sixty-five you had suffered some strokes which made maintaining your balance difficult and at times you had to use a cane. You had fallen on the set in some of the movies you were filming and this caused problems for you. You were no longer able to play the piano as you had always done so beautifully. Frustrated, you had servants take the piano outside where you took an ax and chopped the piano to pieces. This is symbolic of the state in which you lived at this time. There seemed to be no pleasures left to you in life.

In addition to your physical decline you were suffering from loss of memory. You felt that you were sinking into dementia and would soon no longer be able to care for yourself and you didn’t want that burden to fall on your sister. You had seen you mother with her progressing dementia and what caring for her had done to your sister.

I only wish that I had been able to be with you and help you.
This post is so very difficult and painful to write so I have made it very short.

After this depressing month is over I will be writing some fun posts discussing all your talents and movies.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: